An organization that makes men fear marriage

2012-07-02

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

Next Joke The tradition at weddings

2012-07-02

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”

Never talk to the parrot

2012-07-02

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won’t bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!”

The story of the bats

2012-07-02

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.”

Worries about mad cow disease

2012-07-02

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.

Steven Wright on dogs

2012-07-02

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building…on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Three very tough mice

2012-07-02

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

A good chess player

2012-07-02

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

A snail buys a fast new car

2012-07-02

There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted “240-S”.

These chickens want books

2012-07-02

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them…and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

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