Kids at the Wedding

2012-07-02

At a friend’s wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.

A sudden change of mind

2012-07-02

My Dearest Susan,

Sweetie of my heart. I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won’t you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.

An organization that makes men fear marriage

2012-07-02

The British had an organization that Americans are now considering adopting.

Next Joke The tradition at weddings

2012-07-02

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?”

Never talk to the parrot

2012-07-02

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won’t bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!”

The story of the bats

2012-07-02

Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, “Let’s fly out of the cave and get some blood.”

Worries about mad cow disease

2012-07-02

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.

Steven Wright on dogs

2012-07-02

The other day, I was walking my dog around my building…on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Three very tough mice

2012-07-02

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

A good chess player

2012-07-02

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

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